Cancerian characteristics

So I’ve had an infected hole growing in my gums for like a year now that the dentist has t fixed even tho my tooth was just pulled, it’s ten pm and I havnt ate anything today an barely have the resources to eat any other day, I don’t have money to even heal myself nevertheless hang out with friends and have the slightest bit of fun. No, for some reason I must deserve to suffer. So I’m going to stop fighting it an continue to bash my head against this metal untill the sight of my own blood scares some sense into me